If in Dowd

DISCLAIMER: This article has absolutely nothing to do with the 90s rap one hit wonder Coolio. He probably Googles himself from time to time and might come across this. There we were, about 10 minutes into a 3 hour journey on the Italian autostrada .. air conditioning was at full blast, we were slowly but surely getting the hang of driving on the right hand side and learning the local drivers idiosyncratic inability to indicate when changing lanes. I was sitting in the back and remembered a question posed to me by someone before I jetted off: “Do you have any Italian?” - a fair question, to which I responded: “Does the word pizza count?” . I asked the same question to my fellow travellers, hoping that when we reached our destination at least one of us would actually be able to converse in the vernacular. They admitted that they only had a few words. "How do you say ‘hello’ in Italian?” I piped up, alarmed by my own ignorance. There was an awkward silence as nobody could g