Skip to main content

We've been spending most our lives livin' in an Anglicised paradise...

DISCLAIMER: This article has absolutely nothing to do with the 90s rap one hit wonder Coolio. He probably Googles himself from time to time and might come across this.
There we were, about 10 minutes into a 3 hour journey on the Italian autostrada.. air conditioning was at full blast, we were slowly but surely getting the hang of driving on the right hand side and learning the local drivers idiosyncratic inability to indicate when changing lanes. I was sitting in the back and remembered a question posed to me by someone before I jetted off: “Do you have any Italian?” - a fair question, to which I responded: “Does the word pizza count?”.

I asked the same question to my fellow travellers, hoping that when we reached our destination at least one of us would actually be able to converse in the vernacular. They admitted that they only had a few words. "How do you say ‘hello’ in Italian?” I piped up, alarmed by my own ignorance. There was an awkward silence as nobody could give an instant answer.

We resorted to making a collective effort. Firstly, we went through the greetings in other languages: ‘Salut' in French, 'Hola' in Spanish and 'Dia Duit' in Irish, attempting to uncover some logical sequence or pattern that would lead us to our answer. Fifteen minutes later, realised that the word we had been looking for was ‘ciao’. Far too obvious! Well our delay may have partly been due to a 4am start, partial dehydration and a general discomfort being in new surroundings. However it struck me that I had absolutely no Italian. None. "Well they'll all speak English when we get there" I assured myself smugly. The opposite was true.


It wasn't that they didn't speak English at all, they just had a very basic standard. The hotel staff, the waiters and the taxi drivers could barely hold basic conversation in English. Attempts to seek help when there was a problem left us flummoxed. We tried repeating the same thing numerous times, each repetition at a slower pace, as if speaking to a deaf pensioner or baby. That didn't work. Speaking French, hoping that they would be accustomed to dealing with French-speaking tourists, also left us stuck.

I was surprised. Very surprised. How come that in France, where I have gone a lot in recent years, the locals seem to have no trouble with English? In fact, they preferred practising their English than replying to any pigeon French I had attempted to construct. In Italy, this was not the case. The dialogues we had were unusual insofar as often they spoke Italian and we responded in English, somehow both convinced that we both entirely understood what the opposite party was trying to communicate.


Straight away I blamed them. ‘Their education system obviously isn't up to scratch’ and ‘How can they maintain a tourist industry of they can't even speak to their clientele?’ I hypothesised. But how dare I blame them, when it is my entitled and spoilt attitude that needs to be addressed. This piece isn't about the linguistic skills of those particular Italians I bumped into on my travels, but more so about my ignorance. As an English speaker who only uses one language 99.96% of the time (don't quote me on that stat) I have the propensity to expect foreigners to speak my language almost as a mark of respect when I'm abroad.



I will finish with a blunt lesson in foreign etiquette from French rugby player Sebastien Chabal. Maybe it's the French living up to their stubborn stereotype, or perhaps the man is highlighting our ignorance and sense of entitlement.



adiós/arrivederci/au revoir*

Gavin.

*Other languages do exist.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Promoting Dublin's cycling culture

Let's face it. Dublin's cycle paths are un-attractive. Many times I have driven past a cyclist looking despondent, getting splashed when each passing car drives through a puddle next to him. One of the main cycle lane in the city is located along the N11. It's a fairly direct route, starting at Loughlinstown, before passing by Stillorgan, Donnybrook and eventually emerging at Leeson street just off St. Stephen's Green. However some cyclists would criticise it for having a poor surface in parts, and having issues with cars and buses travelling at close proximity to them. A contribution on a thread on Boards.ie from a cyclist who uses the N11 cycle lane frequently. I was sitting on the Luas a few weeks ago and a thought struck me. The Luas green line runs directly into St. Stephen's Green from Cherrywood. It originally had a terminus at Sandyford. This route is incredibly direct, passing through Dundrum, Milltown and Ranelagh before heading onto Harcourt street...

The right ends, the wrong means

The extraordinary din enveloped a tube station during rush hour. Commuters are usually quiet and passive, barely even mustering the energy to make eye contact with each other. This day they were a united front up against a group of Extinction Rebellion (XR) climate change protestors who were parading on the roof of a tram, preventing it from moving.  This caused huge delays to commuters, going about their errands and trying to get to work. The very people who should have been commended for choosing to use relatively eco-friendly public transport over their carbon-intensive cars were made feel ashamed and annoyed by climate change protestors. This irony wasn't lost on most people. They got loads of publicity for their cause , say the XR defenders. Well for sure they did, but I think the media narrative portrayed them as villains, not heroes in this story. Also, for the last week we haven't been having conversations about the substantive issue of climate change, instead about th...

The 'A Word'

"YOU support murdering children?"   It was a simple exchange. We were talking about faith in the modern world, and I foolishly dropped the 'A Word'. Hinting my feelings in relation to this controversial topic, I was immediately stopped in my tracks. My words had led to a judgement being made about my character and my personality. This headline from Waterford Whispers News summarises what has happened to the debate in Ireland: It's ironic, because since the debate has come into general public consideration in Ireland, it has almost become more of a taboo. A highly emotionally-charged debate, both sides will shoot the other down with provocative statements. People are afraid to open their mouths about it in case they are ridiculed for their views. This is exacerbated by the far-left and far-right musings on social media, suggesting that there is little or no middle-ground in this debate. Whatever side of the tracks you are on, or whether you have made ...