"Over the coming years, your bodies will be changing." It was 2012, in an uncomfortable primary school classroom. This was it: the day that everyone had been anticipating for years. We heard whispers of what to expect from siblings over the weeks prior. We were nervous, anxious and very giddy. We were getting 'The Talk'.
For those not from Ireland, 'The Talk' is the colloquial expression for the introduction sexual education class that primary school students receive at around the age of 12. It's an afternoon in which the girls go red as beetroots at the mention of menstruation and the lads hide their smirks and giggles with their jumpers when shown diagrams of the male anatomy. Unfortunately in my case and in the case of my classmates our introduction to sex education was the practically the extent of our sexual education. There's a reason that it's labelled 'the' talk, in the singular, I suppose.
Over the 6 years following, we had practically no sex-ed. In third year we covered human reproduction in science, but our slightly awkward fiftysomething male teacher made us - the students - read the chapter aloud in class to save himself the embarrassment of having to say the word 'ejaculate' at the top of his voice in front of a room of immature 15 year-olds.
Only recently it struck me how little sexual education I received throughout the course of my secondary education. There was SPHE in the Junior Cycle, which was well-intentioned but was really trying to bite off more than it could chew: the course covered mental health, alcohol and drug abuse, exam stress, puberty and bullying. It is not possible to fully explore these complex topics during the paltry 40 minutes each week - 40 minutes out of the roughly 35 hours I spent in school from Monday to Friday. Then came the Leaving Cert and the focus was directed entirely towards the exams. This would have been at the arguably the most crucial time for sexual education. We were mature enough to have the discussions and it was at the stage when people would have been getting into their first serious relationships.
I don't point all the blame to my individual school, which by the way, I loved. I blame the Irish education system and the tacit 'we don't talk about sex' attitude which still looms despite the country's remarkable social change. It is an attitude that does nobody any good.
This year, Solidarity proposed the Objective Sexual Education Bill which ensures that students can access objective sexual education notwithstanding the ethos of their school. Fianna Fail have opposed the Bill on the grounds that there is no precedent for legislation to be used to change the school curriculum. That taken into account, the current system allows schools to use their religious persuasions as a means to either block sexual education being taught, or to teach sex-ed in a particular way which leaves the student with an incomplete understanding of topics like consent and STIs. If there is going to be a reform of the curriculum as Minister Bruton suggests, sexual education must be taught in all schools and taught well.
Otherwise, even with a modern curriculum, students in faith based schools may receive a wholly inadequate sexual education and a culture which classifies sex as taboo will continue.
This year we finally mustered the courage and sense to address the c-word: consent. The public's focus shifted to the question of consent during and in the aftermath of the so-called Belfast Rape Trial. As the case was closed, the discussion about consent was finally being properly opened. I was impressed by Richie Sadlier's contributions to RTE's Ray Darcy Show in which he explained the consent workshops that he runs. The key is not to adopt a 'never have sex' narrative, it's about embracing the concept of consent. Consent means having respect for the bodily integrity of the other partner and ultimately having better sex, Sadlier said. When you say this to teenagers, you get them on side and they will engage properly. I thought this was a refreshing way of explaining the concept to teenagers, some of whom are at the age where they feel patronised and preached-to when adults give them life advice.
Is a sexual education from parents objective and comprehensive? Unlikely. Parents can be selective in terms of what they teach their children - perhaps because of their own ignorance, out of not wanting to embarrass themselves or because of their personal beliefs. This - similar to my experience with sex-ed in school - leaves the teenager with an inadequate sexual education.
Furthermore, with regards to the concept of consent, everyone needs to be on the same page. Everyone should understand the fundamental maxim that 'no' means 'no', however the concept of consent has more to it. In Irish law, consent requires both sexual partners to "freely and voluntarily [agree] to engage" in the act. If there are multiple acts being performed, the partner must consent to each individual act. It is also important to note that a person cannot consent to the sexual act if they are under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. Do parents fully understand this themselves? Are they in a position to teach this to their children?
For those not from Ireland, 'The Talk' is the colloquial expression for the introduction sexual education class that primary school students receive at around the age of 12. It's an afternoon in which the girls go red as beetroots at the mention of menstruation and the lads hide their smirks and giggles with their jumpers when shown diagrams of the male anatomy. Unfortunately in my case and in the case of my classmates our introduction to sex education was the practically the extent of our sexual education. There's a reason that it's labelled 'the' talk, in the singular, I suppose.Over the 6 years following, we had practically no sex-ed. In third year we covered human reproduction in science, but our slightly awkward fiftysomething male teacher made us - the students - read the chapter aloud in class to save himself the embarrassment of having to say the word 'ejaculate' at the top of his voice in front of a room of immature 15 year-olds.
Only recently it struck me how little sexual education I received throughout the course of my secondary education. There was SPHE in the Junior Cycle, which was well-intentioned but was really trying to bite off more than it could chew: the course covered mental health, alcohol and drug abuse, exam stress, puberty and bullying. It is not possible to fully explore these complex topics during the paltry 40 minutes each week - 40 minutes out of the roughly 35 hours I spent in school from Monday to Friday. Then came the Leaving Cert and the focus was directed entirely towards the exams. This would have been at the arguably the most crucial time for sexual education. We were mature enough to have the discussions and it was at the stage when people would have been getting into their first serious relationships.
I don't point all the blame to my individual school, which by the way, I loved. I blame the Irish education system and the tacit 'we don't talk about sex' attitude which still looms despite the country's remarkable social change. It is an attitude that does nobody any good.
The State of the Curriculum
The current curriculum on Relationships and Sexual Education (RSE) was set in the late 1990s. That's 2 decades ago. 20 years ago we didn't have ubiquitous internet pornography available to teenagers at only a few clicks distance, dating apps encouraging and facilitating teenagers to naively launch into relationships with internet strangers nor did we have other social media such as Snapchat. There needs to be a serious modernisation of how sexual education is taught. Equally important is a way of the Department of Education ensuring that the curriculum is actually taught. In my experience it was not properly taught, and I was not the only one: "Last year, due to a scheduling error, the one sex education class I did get from my school was more or less a half an hour on natural family planning." - Irish Examiner |
| Education Minister Richard Bruton is looking to reform the archaic RSE curriculum. |
This year, Solidarity proposed the Objective Sexual Education Bill which ensures that students can access objective sexual education notwithstanding the ethos of their school. Fianna Fail have opposed the Bill on the grounds that there is no precedent for legislation to be used to change the school curriculum. That taken into account, the current system allows schools to use their religious persuasions as a means to either block sexual education being taught, or to teach sex-ed in a particular way which leaves the student with an incomplete understanding of topics like consent and STIs. If there is going to be a reform of the curriculum as Minister Bruton suggests, sexual education must be taught in all schools and taught well.
Otherwise, even with a modern curriculum, students in faith based schools may receive a wholly inadequate sexual education and a culture which classifies sex as taboo will continue.
The 'C' Word: Consent
Parents Know Best...
Some suggest that sex-ed should be left to parents. I believe that parents should be free to give their children as much or as little sexual education as they wish, provided that the child has been taught about it comprehensively in school.Is a sexual education from parents objective and comprehensive? Unlikely. Parents can be selective in terms of what they teach their children - perhaps because of their own ignorance, out of not wanting to embarrass themselves or because of their personal beliefs. This - similar to my experience with sex-ed in school - leaves the teenager with an inadequate sexual education.
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